A Return Of The Most Excellent Interviewer--Mr. Collins! Now Sharing His Estimable Insights Concerning Shannon Winslow's Latest Offering!
(BT Cole: As In the Past, I really enjoy sharing Mr. Collins and Shannon Winslow's Interviews! And As In the Past, You Will Enjoy it As Well!)
It has become a tradition that, with the publication of each new book, I sit down for an interview with Mr. Collins (now Sir William Collins). Did you know that, after his run as a legendary literary figure, he turned his talents to a new career as a talk show host? It’s true.
He and I have not always been on the best of terms, I’m sorry to say. The awkwardness stems from the fact that I made his character’s early demise my top priority as a writer. In fact, Mr. Collins expired in the very first chapter of my very first novel (The Darcys of Pemberley). I’m afraid he’s never quite forgiven me for that. Here’s our most recent interview:
[House lights dim. Applause sign flashes. Stage lights come up to reveal a platform with twin retro club chairs occupied by host Sir William Collins and today’s guest, the modestly successful author Shannon Winslow. Collins lifts a hand in the style of a royal wave to acknowledge the audience before turning his glowering attention to his guest.]
Collins: Ms. Winslow, you’re back.
Winslow: As you see.
Collins: Then I suppose I am obliged to welcome you once again to Meet the Author.
Winslow: Thank you, but I must say you don’t seem very happy about it.
Collins: How perceptive you are, Ms. Winslow. It’s this book of yours. [holds up copy of Captain Wentworth in His Own Words]
Winslow: Is there something the matter with it? [takes and examines the book] It looks perfectly all right to me.
Collins: It’s only the title I take exception to… Oh, and the cover picture… And I presume the contents as well, although I haven’t read it.
Winslow: You don’t approve? Oh, wait. Now I see what has distressed you. You were hoping for a different character to be featured: Mr. Collins in His Own Words. Is that it?
Collins: I knew you would come to the right conclusion, given enough time.
Winslow: Pardon me, Sir William, but I’m sure I mentioned to you the last time I was here that this novel was underway. I had to finish it before considering anything else. Besides, I already have several Pride and Prejudice novels, and I was eager to do something else from Persuasion – my second favorite Austen. It’s hard for me to believe, but it’s been more than ten years since my only other Persuasion story was published: The Persuasion of Miss Jane Austen. Do you remember?
Collins: [waves his hand dismissively] I see so many authors, so many books.
Winslow: Of course. I understand. I am still quite proud of that one, though. Some of my best work, I believe, although it’s a little like saying you have a favorite child, I suppose. They’re all special in different ways.
Collins: So what’s “special” about this latest book, then?
Winslow: Well, anybody who’s read one of my other …in His Own Words novels (Fitzwilliam Darcy, Colonel Brandon, or Mr. Knightley) will be familiar with the basic concept. I take an Austen hero and expand on his story– retelling the original story from his point of view, yes, but adding so much more. In fact, this book (same as the others) is at least fifty percent brand new prequel material. I dig into the character’s past, where he comes from and what he’s experienced – things that shape the man he’s become and how he behaves later on.
In Captain Wentworth’s case that’s a major departure from the others, because he’s not born to the landed gentry class. He starts pretty low on the ladder and has to make something of himself by his own effort and genius. Then there’s the adventure and romance of his life at sea to savor!
Collins: You sound as if you admire him, Ms. Winslow.
Winslow: Oh, I do, Sir William! At least the man he becomes. He’s very flawed and damaged in the beginning, due to things in his past, but he completely redeems himself in the end. I think it’s how far he’s had to come and the size of the obstacles he’s surmounted along the way – oh, and his pride as well - that makes it such a satisfying story.
Collins: In that case, Ms. Winslow, you might be interested to know that I too have had to surmount several very formidable obstacles in order to rise to the towering success and universal admiration I’ve achieved. Not the least of those obstacles, I would remind you, was the premature termination of my run as a beloved literary figure!
Winslow: Still can’t let that go, can you?
Collins: Great men learn to rise above adversity and injustice, but one never forgets.
Winslow: I see. [awkward pause] Well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt to at least discuss the possibilities of a Mr. Collins novel – delve a little into your past misfortunes, how you overcame them, and so forth.
Collins: [nods head in a bow] Thank you. That is excellent news! Then it may be as well to be silent about past grievances. Only let me assure you, my dear Ms. Winslow, that I can from my heart most cordially wish you felicity and success with this new novel. I hope Captain Wentworth in His Own Words will be universally celebrated as a triumph. Although, I flatter myself in thinking that, with our future collaboration, the best is yet to come!
Winslow: [says doubtfully] I suppose anything is possible, Sir William, but remember. I have only promised to discuss the possibility…
Collins: [rises to his feet and interrupts Ms. Winslow to address the audience with much bravado] Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first! Mr. Collins will finally be given his due in a forthcoming Shannon Winslow novel!
[applause sign flashes and the audience responds with loud cheering]
Winslow: No, Sir William! You misunderstood me. I never promised… [but her words are completely drowned out]
While Sir William continues to bask in the adulation of his fans, Ms. Winslow is escorted back to her dressing room by an assistant, who observes her shaking her head in bewilderment and muttering, “What have I done? What have I done?”
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